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What can schools do to help stop bullies and violence?
By Kathy Noll
It's all about talking it out: Child to Child (Peer Mediation),
Teacher to Parent (PTO's, PTA's), Teacher to Teacher (in service
days), Parent to Child (at home). There should be town meetings
involving the parents, students, and entire school faculty to
discuss Conflict Resolution. The teachers should also allow the
students to give "their" ideas on how they would like
situations handled. For younger students, role playing of "victims"
and "bullies" in the classroom will help them understand
the cause and effect - how it feels. Another idea for younger
kids getting picked on could be to have an older student assigned
as a type of mentor that he could talk to, and who would step
in to settle a conflict or dispute. Groups have also been created
where victims and their parents can meet with other victims and
discuss solutions. It's comforting to know you're not alone, and
friendships can be made there.
Many schools admit that the lockers are the most common place
that bullying takes place. Teachers could take turns standing
by these lockers during class changes.
The schools can also pass out questionnaires, and do surveys
or polls to find out what students and parents think about what
is happening and what they would like to see done. Some teachers
have told me that their schools put up a peace flag outside on
days when there is no conflict in the school. This promotes a
pride in the school, and teaches them that even one person's actions
can have consequences that affect everyone. Other schools are
using posters, and having the students wear certain colors on
certain days.
Teachers are also using my book, "Taking the Bully by the
Horns" for role playing in the classrooms. Since I believe
in this book, and the help it's been giving children, I suggest
reading it aloud to the group. The book is written in first person,
so you will be addressing them, and speaking directly to them.
This way, you can teach them the skills they need to handle bullies
and feel good about themselves (self-esteem/life skills). I ask
questions in the book, and you can pause to get their opinions.
I also added a bit of humor so it will be enjoyable for them AND
they will learn something. Then, you could try some role playing,
where they take turns acting out situations where they play both
bullies and victims. This will show them how it "feels"
and give them ideas on what to do to help themselves and others.
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| Empowering
Kids to Deal with Bullies Low Self Esteem |
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(Continued)
[ Bullying Articles ] [ School
Violence Articles ]
Our local schools participated in Berks County's
Annual Week Without Violence. One program included, "Hands
Around Violence." Students made paper cutouts of their hand
prints and wrote nonviolent messages on them. For example, "I
will not use my hands or words for hurting." The "Pledge
Hands" will serve as a visual reminder that together they
can make a difference.
Other activities included a white out, where students
wore as much white as possible to symbolize peace, a unity day,
where students wore their school colors, and a smile day, where
each student received a smile card and handed that card over to
the first person to smile at them.
Another great idea schools are using is to have
teachers hold up pictures of kids faces while asking the students,
"How does this person feel?" This promotes a discussion
aimed at helping kids to identify and describe emotions. And for
teens, pictures of conflicts or stressful situations can be used
to promote discussion & ideas for resolution.
Let kids know it's OK to talk about problems;
that parents and teachers are willing to listen, and eager to
help. Also, if your kids/students are "bystanders" to
their friends, or other kids being bullied, tell them how important
it is for them to help these kids by reporting it. If they are
afraid, they can use an anonymous tip, or tell the teachers not
to use their name when confronting the bully.
The anonymous tip was only suggested for those
victims who feared revenge from the bully in the form of physical
abuse for their "snitching." Yes, in many cases the
name of the victim would have to be given in order for the conflict
to be directly approached. A bully being accused of attacking
a "nameless" child might try to talk his way out of
it. But if a name is used in relating to a particular incident
with a specific child, and if there was proof, or witnesses, it's
harder to deny.
Reference - "Taking the Bully by the Horns"
by Kathy Noll & Dr. Jay Carter
For more information on Bullying Prevention, including
workshops, books/videos, please go to: http://hometown.aol.com/kthynol
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