The classroom is quiet as each student is working independently on their writing prompt. The topic today "Who is my hero?" is met with considerable glee as each student scurries to the bookshelf to find and select their "hero". I watch in amazement as my son sits and starts writing without a glimmer of hesitation.
It begins "My hero is my dad.he is my best buddy, he reads with me, and because of him I am handsome and smart." Others in his class choose familiar suspects; George Washington, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Abraham Lincoln, each a great choice for different reasons. Proudly, I reflect on my son's choice, and how easily it came to him. The answer that quickly jettisoned through my head was that our work at home, reading, drawing, and learning social protocol had paid off. As I thought further it became even clearer to me that my wife and I had set the stage for Brandon 's academic success long before he ever entered into the classroom, and here's how it happened.
We set goals right from the get-go. Not IEP (Individualized Education Plan) goals, but goals specific to behavior, reading, writing, and speech. These four areas we believed would impact his long-term success and acceptance more than any other subjects. We established specific goals using the S.M.A.R.T methodology (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Phased). Within each area we identified specific goals with time deadlines so that we could support his success outside the classroom. This helped facilitate his IEP goals, as well as, support his formal education inside the classroom. We formed a partnership with his aides and teacher's working collaboratively to accomplish stated goals. As a result, he became accepted quickly within his inclusive environment by all involved and learned how to be successful in the classroom.
It troubles me, both as an educator and parent, when special needs children are thrown into situations where they will not be successful because of poor planning on the family's part. Putting the educational burden on the educational system is something that I see over-and-over again. Then, of course, when Johnny doesn't progress or learn as much as you think they are capable of, the school system is at fault. The teacher is at fault, and the genesis for an uncomfortable relationship is in full swing.
My wife and I have tinkered and modified Brandon 's goals throughout his educational experience. Changes we have made are in partnership with the teacher, aide, and resource specialists. This way, we are all singing from the same hymnal and Brandon doesn't get mixed messages. We celebrate his successes and advancements, and modify other areas that are extremely difficult for him to grasp. At the heart of our intervention is the over-riding desire for Brandon to have adequate skills when he is an adult to work, live, and be independent as much as possible. By making Brandon 's education about him and placing the ownership on our backs we all win. Brandon wins because he will achieve and know intuitively that we are showing our love and affection by reading and writing with him each day. We win because we accept the responsibility for our child's development. The school and teacher win because they now know we are involved and are only calling on them to help facilitate and advance his developing skills.
The dilemma will continue to exist between parents with special needs children and schools as long as parents stay uninvolved in the most critical element of their child's education, learning. The time spent blaming school districts and teachers for not educating our children, is much better spent working collaboratively working toward SMART goals that we parents establish.