Inclusion Lessons Learned: A Parents Perspective (Part III)
By: Tim Gruber

What you have read up to this point, and what you will read below is the culmination of a single year. My wife and I continue to follow this template and have found it to work because Brandon is growing socially and academically. It also works well because we’ve established good working relationships throughout his school and our community.

Lesson 16: Participate in after school on campus recreation, plays, and outside activities to allow for more peer interaction in a non-academic setting. The reality is that all interactions with their peers outside of the classroom benefit both, equally. Tolerance, understanding and acceptance are excellent lessons in this exchange.

Lesson 17: Be proactive and don’t wait for problems to occur. Train the teacher, resource specialist, principal, speech therapist on strategies for motivating, transitioning from classroom to specialists; desk to rug or playground to class. Offer any suggestions that work for your child. Most professionals do not have much experience with kids with Down syndrome and are usually receptive.

Lesson 18: If you want your child to get additional support, pay for it. Don’t wait for the school to make it happen or go to litigation for it. It will take too long. Hire college or High School students, or find former teachers to implement an enrichment literacy program or area(s) of need. It’s an inexpensive and efficient way to go.

Lesson 19: Network with others even if it isn’t in your personality to do so. Do it by email if you’re shy. A special thank you to the parents who helped us identify learning resources. Being the first family in 40+ years, in an established school district, and being parents of the only child with Down syndrome ever matriculated was no picnic. My greatest support came from PTA and involved classroom parents.

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Lesson 20: No matter how you feel about your teacher, show your appreciation to him or her by sending cards, flowers, gifts or an expression of gratitude at the appropriate time. It goes a long way. No matter what your philosophy is about special or regular education, inclusion or mainstreaming, teachers put in long hours with little pay or recognition. Make it a point to acknowledge the efforts they are making on your behalf. You know how difficult your day-to-day life is, never forget or underestimate how difficult their job can be.

Lesson 21: Always expect our kids to change the way they are originally perceived. Children with Down syndrome generate love. They are magicians who break down barriers where others can’t. They never fail to make people smile.

Lesson 22: Live in both worlds. If your choice is inclusion, make sure you foster friendships in the special needs community, or continue your relationships with others. Chris Burke’s mom (actor from Life Goes On) gave me that advice and she suggested we begin early because our kids outgrow their typical peers and visa versa.

Lesson 23: Even if you have your degree, expect to repeat kindergarten when your child goes to a typical classroom because it’s no longer graham crackers, milk and a nap. There is homework and projects due every week.
Many of you are thinking about inclusion or are already there. This was our experience, daunting and quite challenging. Our hope is to gain and share knowledge so that everyone who chooses inclusion will benefit, and that no one will have to face these choices alone. When we made it to the end of the year, we knew Brandon had changed his world. His unique gifts positively altered the perceptions of everyone he had come in contact with: the secretary, speech therapist, resource teacher, computer aide, nurse, janitor, bus driver, PTA and classroom moms, recess buddies and most profoundly, his teacher.

I’ll tell you what I learned in another year…TG.